Top 5 Lessons Learned During My First Semester Of Medical School

I'm not even going to address the fact that I went into hibernation over the last two months with this blog, so don't even ask. I'll just try and write as comprehensibly as possible, since this will no doubt seem like an enormous diarrhea of the keyboard. Here goes...

My second semester of medical school is well under way. I'm officially a full fledged med student (before I was just a pee-on) who knows some of the in's and out's of what I have to do to succeed here. I've realized a few things after completing this past semester that I'd really like to share.

1. I hated anatomy. Now I know I spoke of "Charlie" so reverently and how much I learned from the experience and all but the truth is I found that whole process to be gross and abusive to both the students having to do it and the poor souls that thought they were donating their bodies for the sake of academic achievement. Don't get me wrong, I learned a ton from these bodies but I just don't see the point of slicing into a male scrotum to take a testicle out and dissect it so carefully only to realize you can't see anything because its colorless and your head's spinning because of the noxious fumes from the formaldehyde. This brings me to my next point:

2. Professors love genitals. During undergrad I kind of had the feeling that professors tend to place special emphasis on the reproductive system in biology since it's important to understand to understand evolution and genetic recombination and the like. But in medical school it's like some Freudian parade every time the reproductive system comes up. Our first exposure to medical school was on how to make a baby in embryology when we spent a solid week on how the penis forms versus a vagina and looked at colorful pictures like this one:

And no, that is not a hermaphroditic clown. Frank Netter, the man who drew these fine images for his Atlas of Human Anatomy was also a perv by the way. I've never seen a book place so much emphasis on the taint before. Then in anatomy we were given sex advice on how to fully stimulate those just right areas (you hear that ladies?). I'm sure there's more to come. Get excited.

3. Med school's not so bad. I know I may get rammed for this but I remember this time last year I was writing 30-page lab reports on the particle-in-a-box theory on chromophore electron excitation almost every single week. Now I have one test every few weeks, no homework, and I'm learning things I actually care to know and enjoy the process. Of course I have to know more than I'd ever like to know about the stretch receptors in the right atria which regulate heart rate - but overall it's no big deal. So why is it that we all hear from medical students that the first year is the worst thing ever? It's all because of the people you're asking. Med students. And we all know that...

4. Med students are crazy. No seriously, mental. It goes without saying that you need to have certain special qualities to a. get into medical school and b. become a doctor. A lot of the times medical schools are looking for something fresh and new in their students. I seriously think they're starting to look for things that make people unique that others would consider a mental disability. Med students get a sick pleasure in meeting a sick patient with a super contagious disease and then telling everyone they know that they were probably exposed and could die if not treated. These are the same students who when told a story about death and dying often say "cool." They find words like "radiculopathy" funny.  I find more and more that medical students border sociopathy the more I get to know them. Many can't talk to peers let alone patients. They'll make excellent scholars, but I'm concerned they'll make awful physicians. This leaves the world open to those of us who may be a little less inclined to study and more inclined to socialize, I suppose. So cheers to that!

and finally...

5. By doing what you love, you'll be better off than doing your best in school. I've heard it a thousand times before. It's really easy to get into the notion of going to class, going to the library, eating somewhere in between, then going to sleep and doing it all over again the next day. Part of the reason why I decided to come to this city was to make sure I never had a routine life. I like not realizing what day of the week it is or occasionally forgetting to go to class because I was playing music and lost track of time. This was basically my New Year's resolution - to make sure I do a few things each week that I love to do that has nothing to do with medical school. In the end it makes you a more worldly person and reminds you that there's a world out there that's just wasting away without you exploring it. So first step of my resolution was to finally buy an electric drum kit after selling my last one when I moved away from Gainesville. I've been playing for so long and I don't remember not having something to bang on since I was 13. So that's check one.

The other thing I decided I'd do is to go see more concerts. I already went to a few this semester, and I have another few lined up. I'm even going to see Copeland in their farewell tour with just one ticket for myself. Besides, going to an emo show alone makes it all the more emo. I just need to grow my hair out to cover my left crying eye which burns ever so lightly. Just for kicks here's a picture of me with that exact image in high school.

 There you have it. The top 5 lessons learned during my first semester of medical school. Here's to hoping the list expands as the years go by. I'm paying thousands of dollars a semester for something, right? That's another depressing story.